Taking Control

Stress, frustration, overwhelm and worry are all symptoms of one common cause. The cause is the feeling of not being in control.

Here are 5 ways on gaining more control in your life.

1. You have freedom to choose.

Choice not chance determines your future. What choices are you making on a daily basis? Remember if you are looking for something different in your life; a more fulfilling career, a higher salary, a healthier lifestyle, it is up to you to choose something different, to take different actions. We all make the best choices we feel we can make in any situation, but sometimes there are other choices that we are not aware of. We need to think bigger or think outside of the box to create new choices.

2. Don’t hide behind the distractions.

Being busy is not a measure of your success or importance. We have all heard the phrase ‘busy fool.’ For many their ‘busyness’ is a smokescreeen to hide behind. Being busy is often used as a guise for avoiding important but uncomfortable actions. For example, checking emails 30 times a day is busyness. What are you not doing when you are distracted by your 'busyness?' Organisations and even our culture in general, tend to reward sacrifice instead of personal productivity and effectiveness. Just think of the phrase ‘the devil makes work for idle hands.’ By clearly identifying your priorities, writing out the results you want to achieve each day, you will be more focused and you will discover that your ‘busyness’ diminishes and your effectiveness, sense of control and sense of achievement increases.

3. You cannot control the uncontrollable. But you can control your response to the uncontrollable.

Stop asking the almost impossible of yourself, you don’t need to be superman or wonderwoman. Stephen Covey the author of ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ says that 10% of the quality of our lives is the events that happen to us. 90% of the quality of our lives is how we choose to respond to those events.

4. Be proactive not reactive.

We have all created our reputations, mainly by default. Some people are known as doers others as moaners. People who nag, run others down, constantly complain or are cynical in their attitude, feel they have insufficient control over the events in their lives. Unfortunately research shows that a negative and cynical attitude to life, will over time, lower your immune system, which has a negative impact on your health.

5. Personal Responsibility

Most people associate the phrase ‘personal responsibility’ with being responsible for their actions and the consequences of their actions. But there is another level to personal responsibility - being responsible for how we choose to emotionally respond in situations. One of the things that distinguishes us from the animal kingdom is that we have the freedom to choose our response. For example, you are driving along and a car cuts in in front of you, you might immediately respond angrily. Anger is one response in this situation, perhaps there are other responses. When we say ‘he makes me angry’ or ‘she frustrates me’ what we are really saying is that ‘I choose to habitually respond to that person in an angry way.’ That is taking personal responsibility to another level. But if you think about it, how can you hope to control a situation, if you cannot control yourself.

After January, September is the most popular time of the year for reassessing where we are at. The schools are back, the evenings are getting shorter, it is a nice time to think about what you would like to achieve or focus on for the rest of the year. Ask yourself ‘in what areas of my life would I like greater control?’ ‘What other choices do I have?’ ‘How can I take greater personal responsibility or be more proactive?’ By taking control you will not only be more productive and happier you will be reducing the stress in your life.

 

Want to use this article on your own website or e-zine Find out how »