I’ve come to realise that before a company can start the work of boosting staff morale and motivation it has to cease the behaviours that are de-motivating staff in the first place.

Uncivil Behaviour

I’m frequently amazed how people will tolerate rude behaviour at work when then wouldn’t for a moment tolerate it outside of work. Naive managers don’t realise that just as customers volunteer to do business with your company, staff volunteer the qualities they display at work. Staff may feel they have to turn up for work to earn a living, but who they are at work, the attitude they display, is optional.
In recent research 50% of employees surveyed who had experienced uncivil behaviour at work said they intentionally decreased their effort levels as a result. Two-thirds of those surveyed admitted they spend a lot of time avoiding the offender and a similar number admitted their performance declined as a consequence of their treatment.
So what constitutes uncivil behaviour? Shouting, making threats, demeaning comments, rebuking or giving negative feedback in front of others and ignoring colleagues are all examples of uncivil behaviour (and very poor people management skills.)
Company culture is contagious, so if uncivil behaviour is tolerated at management levels, staff will see that this behaviour is acceptable and will replicate it.
In a recent Mercer study of 30,000 employees in 17 countries people where asked what factors motivated them at work. Top of the list was “being treated with respect.” In essence, it is respect that is damaged by uncivil behaviour. Without respect what hope is there for positive morale and motivation?

Avoidance of Reality

Effective leadership is a balance between realism and optimism. Staff become disillusioned when they feel management are ‘not living in the real world,’ are too focused on the future and are not dealing with the issues and challenges they are facing in the present.
When I hear comments from staff like ‘management are too removed’ ‘they don’t know what it is like to do my job’ or ‘they haven’t a clue about what I have to deal with’ it doesn’t matter what lofty plans exist for the future, staff have other pressing issues to cope with in the present and future strategy will seem just like pie in the sky to them.
Falling into this ‘lack of realism’ category is beautifully worded but intangible mission and vision statements. Unless mission statements, vision statements and company values are translated for staff in a tangible and practical way, they remain meaningless concepts that no one remembers because they are irrelevant to their experience of what it is like to work in the organisation.

Allowing a Communication Vacuum

It is rare that I will work with an organisation where lack of communication or poor communication is not an issue. Staff want to be kept informed and unfortunately when there isn’t frequent and proactive communication in an organisation gossip will fill the vacuum and gossip is never positive.
Managers often ask me what should I do if there is no news to communicate. My answer is always the same. From staff’s perspective the cliché that ‘no news is good news’ doesn’t apply. From their perspective it is ‘no news is the worst news.’ So even if there isn’t new information to communicate, share that fact.
In these challenging times what people crave is certainty and even if there isn’t certainty about future business, salaries or bonuses, staff need to feel certain that their manager appreciates them, knows their concerns and is keeping them informed. Staff want to feel part of something meaningful and it is only through regular communication which really means conversations, that this will happen.

So what’s required to reverse the behaviours that de-motivate staff?

Self-awareness is the first step. You have to be aware of your current behaviour and in particular the impact you have on the people around you. Secondly, many managers have little understanding of the basics of human psychology which underpins all effective communication and motivation strategies. If this is an area of weakness, up-skilling is required. Lastly, mangers must always remember that their success is dependent on the people they manage, and simply put this means having people management issues and staff well-being at the top of their agendas.

Inside James Cameron’s Creative Mind

Whether propelling filmmaking to new frontiers with movies like Titanic and Avatar, or exploring the oceans mysterious secrets, James Cameron offers viewers a never-before-seen look at his remarkable career as a writer, director, producer, and innovator.

I came across this video on Facebook recently (thanks to my friend Marian for posting it.) It contains a message that is always worth hearing.

As we all work towards achieving our goals for 2012 we will encounter failures and setbacks. Picking yourself up and moving forward to try again can be tough, but unless you are willing to persevere and acknowledge the gift of wisdom contained in your setback, you will not achieve what you want to achieve.

As tough as it can be to start again after a failure, the real beast to watch out for, the real disabler that will prevent you from even starting to work towards your goals is fear of failure.
Fear of failure paralyses. For some, fear of failure means they will never take a risk or a chance in their entire lives. If you don’t risk looking ridiculous, feeling awkward or inept sometimes, you may retain your feeling of security, but you will never grow. By avoiding failure at all costs, you are also avoiding life’s richness. And what is the worst thing that could happen? It is not about being right; it is about putting your hand up and asking the question, it is getting in the game in the first place. Which is greater the pain of risk or the pain of regret?

Knowing you have failed at something is only temporary. Quitting is long term. Failure is redeemable, being a quitter is not. You can make mistakes, even some big ones along the way and still prevail. You don’t need a perfect record.

For most people striking a healthy work life balance means ensuring their home life gets as much time, attention and energy as their work lives.

There is the analogy of the circus juggler who struggles to keep all his plates in the air. We do the same, juggling our work and personal life commitments. However, some of the ‘plates’ or priorities we juggle will smash if we let them fall. Self-imposed deadlines and workloads have more ‘bounce’ than our relationships with loved ones. Having a good work life balance means distinguishing between the priorities we juggle that ‘bounce’ from the delicate ones labeled ‘partner’ ‘children’ ‘fulfillment’ and ‘health’; the ones that will shatter if we let them drop.

What’s important?

Rather than making our lives easier, the technological advances of recent years, has simply made our lives faster. No one has enough time, and yet everyone has all there is. Everyone has exactly 168 hours per week. Time is not the issue; the issue is ensuring that daily urgencies do not prevent us from spending time focusing on what we determine as important. Without clearly knowing our daily, weekly, monthly priorities, our decisions will be unfocused and we will feel a sense of overwhelm, the classic symptom of having a poor work life balance.

When we think of the word ‘balance’ we think of everything being equal, being evenly distributed. I prefer to view balance as being fluid rather than static, hence the word blending in the title of this article. There are occasions when work requires more time and of course occasions when family and social life requires our full attention.

Work life blending is about being clear as to what you want to achieve, what is important to you in each aspect of your life and making daily decisions to create the optimum balance for you, recogising that what is right one day, may not be the same as the next.

What’s your ‘ideal’ work life balance?

You need to know what you are aiming for. It is important then to answer the question ‘what does a healthy work life balance look like to you?’ Unless we can imagine something different, it will be difficult to create it.

Having more Fun

Most people I work with people in the area of work life balance simply want to have more fun and relaxation in their lives. They are so busy with the business of life; they are missing the ‘juice’ of life, the laughter, the enjoyment, the adventure, the joy, the fulfillment. (That’s why two whole chapters of my book Soar are devoted to these topics.) Therefore the question is – what do you need to do to have more fun in your life?

Balance doesn’t mean doing everything. Achieving balance means knowing what you can and cannot do, knowing that you cannot be all things to all people. A balanced life is a journey, not a destination. There is no pre-defined map, it is up to you to plot your own course, based on your individual priorities.

1. Your past doesn’t predict your future
2. Life is not a popularity contest
3. Everyone wants to be loved – destructive behaviour is a cry for love
4. There is tremendous strength in vulnerability
5. People cannot respond to what you are planning to do, people can only respond to the committed action you take
6. Our ability to grow is directly proportional to our ability to entertain the uncomfortable
7. When you work from the heart you touch other people’s hearts
8. Courage is the antidote to feeling stuck
9. Gratitude is the antidote to fear, anger and frustration
10. No matter our circumstances there are always blessings and gifts of wisdom, but only when we are willing to see them
11. Some work we do ourselves, some work is done through us
12. When we get over trying to be perfect, miraculous things happen

12 Questions to stimulate your thinking in 2012!

1. What would you like your biggest achievement to be in 2012?
2. What would you be most happy about completing in 2012?
3. What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2012?
4. What do you need to let go of going into 2012?
5. What are you looking forward to learning in 2012?
6. What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2012?
7. What about your work are you most committed to changing and improving in 2012?
8. What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2012?
9. What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2012?
10. What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2012?
11. Who or what are you most committed to loving and serving in 2012?
12. What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2012?

Kick start your New Year – join me at my annual Goal-Setting & Motivation evening workshop on January 18th in The Four Seasons Hotel, Dublin 4 – more information

Biography/ History

The Hemlock Cup; Socrates, Athens and the Search for the Good Life by Bethany Hughes
The Hare with Amber Eyes by Edmund de Waal
Wild Swans by Jung Chang
The German Genius by Peter Watson
Blow by Blow (biography of Isabella Blow) by D. Blow & T.Skyes
To a Mountain in Tibet by Colm Thubron
Behind closed doors (biography of Wallace Simpson) by Hugo Vickers
Stories I tell my friends by Rob Lowe
Swinging and Singing and getting Merry like Christmas (part 3 of autobiography) by Maya Angelou
Letters to a young poet by Ranna Maria Rilke
Palimpsest; A memoir by Gore Vidal
Open; An Autobiography by Andre Agassi
Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes
Heart of a Woman (part 4 of autobiography) by Maya Angelou
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert *
On Writing by Stephen King
The Mind’s Eye – Writings on Photography and Photographers by Henri Cartier Bresson

Novels

Room by Emma Donoghue
Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf *
Regeneration by Pat Barker
A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan
The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje
The Stranger’s Child by Alan Hollinghurst
The Catcher and the Rye by JD Salinger
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by JK Rowling
Fiesta: The Sun also Rises by Ernest Hemmingway
Breath by Tim Winton
Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes

Spiritual/ Personal Development

The Silence of the Heart by Paul Ferrini
Return to the Garden by Paul Ferrini
Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan
Defy Gravity by Caroline Myss
Love without Conditions by Paul Ferrini
The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coehlo
The Twelfth Insight by James Redfield
The Business you were born to create by Nick Williams
Enchantment by Guy Kawasaki
The seven spiritual laws of superheroes by Deepak Chopra
Miracle of Love by Paul Ferrini
More time to think by Nancy Kline
Aleph by Paulo Coelho
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle *
The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp
Conversations with God (book 1) by Neale Donald Walsh
The Soul of Leadership by Deepak chopra
Living your best life by Laura Berman-Fortgang *
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho * (first kindle read!)
The Secret Letters of the Monk who sold his Ferarri by Robin Sharma (kindle)

*Reread

9. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
11. The second mouse gets the cheese.
12. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
13. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
14. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
15. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Here’s what I do;

1. Stay informed, but stay in control

We all want to know how changes in the budget will impact on us, but there are different ways of doing it. Watching every news programme and listening to every political party trying to score points, is just feeding the beast of negativity.
This is what I do. I will read the detail of the budget, online and in my own time. I will read the facts, not political commentary. I will ignore everything that doesn’t impact on me. Yes, I can empathise with how budgetary changes will impact on others, but I will detach from it. I will see how budgetary announcements relevant to me will affect my finances.
I estimate that this entire exercise will take twenty minutes. That is the extent of my participation in the budget conversation. It’s on my terms and in a way that serves me best.

2. Uncommon Gratitude

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.” -Meister Eckhart

Gratitude is an attitude and also a habit. Yes, there is plenty for us to moan and groan about, but there is also plenty for us to be thankful for, particularly at this time of the year. There are the big things like our heatlh, our family and friends, but there are also the little things.
Recently I undertook a simple exercise with a group which I called uncommon gratitude where we noted the little, often inconsequential things in life that bring us pleasure and a sense of gratitude. Here are just 10 of mine in random order.
1. Non lick envelopes
2. Thin crust pizzas
3. The incredible imagination of Salvador Dali and his thought-provoking art
4. Monocle, Wallpaper and Vanity Fair my monthly indulgent reading
5. Starbuck’s Carmel Macchiato coffee on soya milk
6. The unconditional love of Cara, our English Springer Spaniel who greets me every time as if I’ve been away for a year
7. Tom Ford’s tobacco and vanilla candle, for me the scent of abundant luxury
8. Spending at least 90 minutes reading The Irish Times on a Saturday morning
9. Wikipedia
10. The Shazam app on my iphone

What would be on your list? Noticing the little things over time makes a big difference.

3. Get Inspired

I’ve realised over the last few months that I’m an inspiration hunter. I love the feeling of being inspired and the sense of possibility and adventure that comes with it. Up to a few years ago I would never have described myself as a creative person. Now I know that to be human is to be creative. Putting a great meal together, laying a table, designing a powerpoint presentation, getting dressed are all simple examples of everyday creativity. It doesn’t have to be the big stuff like writing a book or painting a masterpiece. I have found that when I’m creative I’m more alive and I want to experience this as often as I can.

Here are some good questions to reflect on to help you connect with your own creativity and sense of inspiration –

1. How do you know when you are inspired?

2. When was the last time you felt creative?

3. In what environments do you get inspired?

4. What sort of people inspire you?

5. How could you connect with your sources of inspiration more purposefully?
I found that the vast majority of the sources of my inspiration are free or cost very little. Most museums and art galleries are free. Whilst I am addicted to reading and buying books, I also appreciate the joys of visiting a library, all those books and free to read! I’ve also taken down some old gems of books from my own books shelves and reread them. Novels where I’ve forgotten the details of the plot, reconnecting with characters like long lost friends, personal development books that I’m now reading from an entirely different place and wondering why I underlined certain passages in the past and ignored the really fundamental points.

In this holiday season my wish for you is one of gratitude and inspiration and perhaps when we connect with these states we will inspire others to do likewise. Never have the words of Gandhi been so apt – we need to ‘be the change we want to see.’

Many people will start the New Year with noble intentions. This will be the year they get fit, write their novel, earn more money, find the ideal partner and so on, but come the second week in January their good intentions have been swallowed by existing habits and routines.
If this sounds all too familiar to you, my annual Goal-Setting & Motivation Evening Workshop in the third week of January could be just the solution.

Join me on Wednesday January 18th 2012 (6.30pm-9.30pm) at The Four Seasons Hotel, Ballsbridge, Dublin 4

Refreshments included and served from 6pm

Cost €60

Price includes a copy of my new book ‘Soar – Powerful Questions that will Transform your life’

10% of ticket price goes to the children’s charity Barnardos

Learn Proven Success Strategies

I’ve put together all my success strategies and I’m sharing them with a select number of people from my existing client and contact database. My goal for the evening workshop is to support, challenge and assist you to identify your goals and desired results for 2012 and beyond.

Two free books!

At the event you will receive a copy of my new book ‘Soar – Powerful Questions that will Transform your Life.’ Also available will be complimentary copies of Yanky Fachler’s book ‘Should I Shouldn’t I, Start my own Business?’ a great resource for budding entrepreneurs.

More Benefits

In addition to participating in visioning and goal-setting exercises, as a result of attending this workshop you will –

• Discover the factors that limit your success and how to overcome them

• Learn how to think positively and stay results focused by changing the questions you habitually (and usually unconsciously) ask yourself.

• Meet like-minded people in a relaxed and up-lifting environment. (Interaction with others is frequently mentioned by attendees as a highlight of the workshop.)

If you are serious about making 2012 your best year yet, then this workshop will ignite your inspiration and motivation and set you on the path to even greater success.

Book your Place

Ticket prices are €60. You can secure your place and book online via paypal by clicking  below. Alternatively email me at  info@jamessweetman.com to reserve your place.