If you follow me on social media you will have seen posts and images from my recent New York wedding. Yes, on June 19th (my birthday) I married Brian, my partner of almost 11 years in Central Park. It was a magical week, I’m still on cloud nine. I’ve shared the story of how our New York wedding came about with a few friends. They found the story inspiring, hence this blog.
I didn’t have dreams about getting married. Setting up a home with a loving partner, building a life together was certainly a vision, but until 2015 marriage wasn’t an option. Being in hospital last September was a catalyst. I hated having to tick the ‘single’ box on the registration form. Getting the cancer diagnosis prompted a reassessment of what’s important in our lives, so we decided that we would get married in 2018. (I got the all clear in January by the way!)
Come the New Year, we started the process of planning our big day. We knew what we didn’t want, (anything traditional, uniform or pre-packaged.) Nowadays there are so many choices available to couples it was almost overwhelming. We toyed with getting married on a beach in Australia, on safari in South Africa at sunset, a family gathering down the country and even in our own back garden. In the weeks that followed, we found ourselves chasing enquiries, and there were misunderstandings over dates and requests. Our frustrations were building and it wasn’t long before even thinking about weddings became a chore, something on a ‘to do’ list.
I know that decisions made from a place of frustration, or from trying to please everyone, rarely work out, the energy is just wrong. As I said to a friend at the time, if we are not excited about planning our wedding, then we shouldn’t get married. We needed a different approach, one that in the words of Abraham Hicks meant swimming downstream with ease, flow and a sense of possibility. I decided to harness what I knew about the Law of Attraction to co-create with the Universe our perfect wedding.
Did we believe we could have a wedding that met and exceeded all our expectations and that would be perfect for us? Absolutely. This was the foundation we worked from. Whatever it is you are seeking, your belief that it is possible is vital.
As humans, we are emotional beings. Everything we want is a request to feel more of a positive emotion. Our emotions (frustration, impatience, confusion) were telling us that a different approach was needed. At the end of February, I said to Brian let’s park this whole wedding malarkey. Our energy and outlook is not right. I’ve had sufficient experiences in my life to know that the inspiration would come, but only if we were open to receiving it. So, to get our energy back to neutral we were parking even thinking about weddings.
As we embarked on our moratorium we agreed that we would focus on our feelings. How did we want to feel getting married? Excited, fun, easy, effortless, an adventure, inspired, celebratory, grateful, bursting with love. I said that if this is what we wanted we needed to get on to that frequency. Our job (in the co-creation process) was to get curious as to how the process of thinking about organising the wedding could be exciting, fun, celebratory etc. Ultimately it was about doing what we wanted, a wedding that would make our hearts dance.
About 10 days later I was scanning my phone during an ad break on TV and something to do with Las Vegas popped up. I laughed, suggesting to Brian that we could go the kitsch route and get married in an Elvis Chapel. The seed of getting married in America was sown. I love New York and it had been a few years since I was there and Brian had never visited. The thoughts of having our big day in the Big Apple appealed. We paid attention to the stirring of excitement and investigated further.
Google searches for ‘getting married in New York’ answered many of our questions. The administration side of it was straightforward (easier and cheaper than Ireland!) There is tremendous flexibility. Our feelings of excitement, fun, ease and adventure indicated we were on the right path (or that the path was finding us!) We then stumbled across the site of photographer Sascha Reinking. His photos and the general tone of website (relaxed, hassle-free, unique) really spoke to us. It turned out his wife was a wedding officiant. (This was almost getting too easy.) When we connected with Jackie, we knew straight away that this was the person who would marry us. Now we were really excited, momentum was building and we could see the pieces fall into place.
On March 17th St. Patrick’s Day we booked Sascha as our photographer and Jackie as our celebrant. It turned out they are visiting Ireland in August and were hoping to connect with some Irish people (funny that!) We told our two families. They only wanted what we wanted, once we promised them a day out to celebrate when we returned. We went about planning our outfits and our trip with the same sense of excitement and ease. Our overriding belief was that everything would slot into place.
When you are swimming downstream, savouring the moment, appreciating everything, you are open to receiving. As if by magic we secured business class flights. We booked to stay in the Four Seasons in New York and it was only when booking it that I remember that 10 years before I’d put a picture of that hotel on my vision board with the caption ‘I’m excited to be showing Brian the sites of New York.’ In the words of Paulo Coelho ‘the Universe was conspiring to assist us.’
Needless to say, the week in New York was beyond special. It was just about the two of us, celebrating our relationship. The Universal winks continued, impromptu gifts, recommendations that were exactly right, and an overriding feeling of being in the right place at the right time. Rather than prearranging a car or hailing a taxi to take us to Central Park the morning of our wedding, the Four Seasons house car, which you cannot book in advance, was available (as I sensed it would be) so we were chauffeured to the ceremony in style.
At the end of last year, when I was particularly low, I visited an Angel card reader. She said I’d be visiting America. I immediately thought of my work, not a wedding. She also saw three celebrations and that we would be married beside water. We did have three celebrations and we got married by the boating lake in Central Park. She also said our wedding would be perfect. And it was.